If you have not—and to paraphrase Ronny Chieng in his hilarious Netflix stand-up special Love To Hate It—maybe you’re the one who’s been lost to conspiracy theories!

Well, I personally did lose quite a few people to the black hole of social media’s conspiracy theories, and gosh did they fall fast. Within a few months, I could not recognize the discourse some of my friends were having.

☕ The “wait, what?” catch-up

Picture this: I’m quietly enjoying a nice catch-up with a friend (which is already not that easy from the get-go—see my previous newsletter) and suddenly, out of nowhere, some batshit crazy shit that would have earned you a one-way ticket to a mental institution not that long ago is presented to me as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

🤔 Did I give off the wrong signal?

In my head, I’m trying to rewind at full speed: how did I give the vibe that I was aligned with this conspiracy shit? Was it when I agreed that sugar is unhealthy and processed food is garbage? Was it when I was aggravated by the topic of children’s sex trafficking? Positions that I believe are pretty reasonable.

📱 Scroll-speed descent into nonsense

And that is where you can see how things go downhill at the speed of a mouse click—or rather a scroll (yes, I don’t consume much social media and have not mastered its gestures and lingo. AND I’m still using a Rolodex and a landline ;)). An unsuspecting soul is watching a video on weight loss and five videos down the line they become anti-vax (measles and all—the hard-core one, not the one raising some healthy concerns about being injected with an unproven substance, for example ;)), and ten videos later the entire world is led by cannibals. And how would you like yours today—medium or well-done?

🧪 Sanity check: sources matter

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not naïve about the sins and corruption in the world. But I tend to like fact-checking and reliable sources. Being told that FRED2009$ on Twitter knows the truth about what is really happening in the world doesn’t really do it for me. FMP, Fred is sitting in Russia, North Korea, or Iran and is having a field day filling North American minds with the worst brain rot a human could absorb.

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🪑 The awkward moment

But now that you’re facing this friend with a weird look in their eyes, what do you do? I personally start to imperceptibly (or at least I think) shift uncomfortably in my chair from one butt cheek to the other, confused about what is happening and what to do next. Usually, I don’t interrupt the rant; I try to find one common point of agreement (“sugar is bad”) before redirecting to a less dangerous topic—my cat’s latest UTI, for example.

Sometimes it works; often it doesn’t, and I’m back onto another crazy theory ten minutes later. On the bright side, it allows me to stay abreast of what is being said in the dark corners of the web and what democracy is up against (actually, I’d rather not think about the latter too much).

💣 Aftermath: stun-grenade vibes

The catch-up reaches its end; you are slightly dumbfounded and unsteady—I guess a bit like what one feels after being hit with a stun grenade. It’s time to say good-bye and “see you soon.” As you’re walking back (or biking, as you are environmentally friendly but still not depressed enough to take public transportation), you wonder: WTF just happened? Did an alien take possession of your friend’s body? That can be the only explanation. You replay what was said and start questioning your sanity first: Did they really say that? Could I have misunderstood? Do they actually believe that? Could it be a big joke? Where are the hidden cameras?

🧟 Greatest hits from the zombie brain-eaters

But then you have to come to the realization that you have just lost another one to the zombie brain-eaters of social media. That whatever you say can and will be used against you. Some of my favorites:

“You are being manipulated and you don’t even see it.” (Yes, sure—and you’re not.)
“I have access to underground information.” (Fred from Pyongyang again.)
“Oh, you believe mainstream media. Sad.” (Yes, I think the FT has a bit more access and brain power than Fred and his gang. Oh, and I also use my brain for something called critical thinking—meaning I don’t believe everything I read and I triangulate information. Mosaic theory, baby!)
“That is the beauty of it: ‘THEY’ have erased all the proof.” (That is indeed unfortunate.)
With a sad and compassionate smile: “You will understand at some point.” (I do understand very well that you should stop watching YT right fucking now.)
“You are afraid.” (Absolutely! Right now, I’m fucking afraid you will tase me and eat my brain for dinner.)

🚧 So… where do you go from here?

So, where do you go from here? Personally, nowhere. Some of my relationships have imploded when, after being baited for too long, I decided to share my strong views too. This was early on, but I’ve realized since that it’s like trying to teach German to my cats—not happening. So, for those friends who can control themselves 90% of the time, I give them the grace of 10% insanity—like the drunk uncle we tolerate at Thanksgiving, as he’s usually a good guy. With the others who could not control themselves with their opinions and injunctions, I just faded away. No point in a clash. I’m sure they’re having a better time with Fred anyway!

Peggy Van de Plassche is an Operating Partner in Private Equity with over 20 years of experience across financial services, healthcare, and technology. She partners with investment firms, boards, and portfolio company leadership to accelerate performance, drive operational transformation, and unlock long-term value.

Peggy specializes in executing complex value creation plans—from capital allocation and digital enablement to transaction advisory and leadership alignment. Her work bridges strategy and implementation, helping investors and operators boost EBITDA and maximize enterprise value.

A founding board member of Invest in Canada, Peggy also brings deep expertise in institutional capital deployment and public-private partnerships—critical levers for competitive advantage in today’s global landscape.

Her clients have included BMO, CI Financial, HOOPP, OMERS, GreenShield Canada, Nicola Wealth, and Power Financial.
Learn more at peggyvandeplassche.com.

😱Did You Lose Someone to Conspiracy Theory?